I lost my precious Yorkie Jesse on 10/06/09. He was a retired champion show dog who had 14 years of love. I miss him terribly and cry every day. I know his pain is gone, but mine is as intense as ever. My life feels like something is missing. He was such a part of my life. I miss his little tail going. We used to call it his happy tail. I feel like I betrayed him somehow because that day the vet was going to try to remove a tumor from his jaw and we were going to go home and have a little more time. He was barking at me in the office because he was hungry. I said "are you hungry baby"? and he looked at me alertly and I knew that was a yes. I said you'll eat later baby. He barked and I pet him then he was called in. The Dr checked him over and that was that. Then came the call. The tumor was basically holding his jaw together. His jaw was broken. Dr said it was bad, worse than we thought. He was in pain, I know. I had to jack up the dose in the last few days. Even though we were feeding him soft food and wrapping his pills in Boars Head chicken he couldn't gain an ounce. He could barely tip the scale at 6lbs. At one time that would have ballooned him to 8lbs easy. He was a chubster once. I even had a fight with the original owner-breeder(who showed him) over his weight at one time. It was hard the last few weeks to pet him I could feel his back bones and rib bones a little. I'm sorry this is long, I wanted to tell my story. It's been so incredibly hard. The tears just flow and flow. I see him everywhere, can't walk where we walked, you know. I look at his pictures and ashes container and the pain is palpable. Does everybody feel like this? Thank you for listening and taking the time to be there for us. Dianejess
Dianejess: I'm very sorry for your loss. We all know how hard and painful it is to lose a loved member of the family (pets are family members). The pain eases with time and becomes more manageable but it is different for each one. Mourning process is also different for each one. Just be patient and let time do its job, let your tear flow to heal a little bit your heart and try to be with people who understand your grief. When I lost my bunny Pinky three years ago, I also felt him everywhere the first few months and cried for a long time. Say prayers for your dear Jesse and talk to him, he will listen.
Every blessing
Ada
Yes we feel that way. You and your precious Jessie had a special bond, spent more time together than the average owner, so letting go will be a process as Ada says. Illnesses are draining and when it's "over" it really isn't over because then every ache floods in and the void left seems like a lonely sea with no shore in sight. At least it feels that way. I healed. I don't know how but I did in time.
Thanks for sharing Jessie's life with us. Sounds like he was a real trooper, a real smart buddy. He had great value, and still does, in your life. I believe it's only proper that we should take the time to say goodbye to our buddies because they gave so much to us, they were important. The pain is proportional to that importance.
Talk to others who understand, it helps. And please accept my condolences on your loss. Rest little Jessie. Peace and healing to you, Dianejess.
Reply to: ‘How long to feel better?’
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